A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $7,000...
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The rabbi was fed up with his congregation. So, he decided to skip the services on Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, and instead go play golf. Moses was looking down from heaven and saw the rabbi on the golf course. He naturally reported it to God...
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A black family went to the zoo and the cage with the elephant. The young son asked his mother,
"Mama, what's that thing hangin' off dat elephant?"...
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The father of a family, who was angry with his children because they were displeased with their food,
exclaimed angrily one day at dinner:
"You children are intolerable: you turn up your noses of everything...
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Dear Dad,
$chool i$ relly great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card,
a$ I would love to hear from you...
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Two Jewish women were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser.
Sadie says, "So now, Monah, how's your family?"...
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A woman wanted a divorce. She went to the courthouse and appeared before the judge. The judge reviewed her petition and asked,
"Do you have grounds?"...
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The man on the bridge addressed the fisherman.
"Any luck?" he asked.
"Any luck!" was the answer. "Why, I got forty pike out of here yesterday."...
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Benjamin rushes to his doctor.
"Doctor, you've got to give me something to make me young again. I've got a date with this beautiful young girl tonight."...
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Once an old gentleman went to see a doctor. The doctor examined him and said:
"Medicine won't help you. You must have a complete rest. Go to a quiet country place for a month, go to bed early, drink milk, walk a lot, and smoke just one cigar a day."...
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