My dentist told me he had good news and bad news.
I said, "Give me the bad news first. Maybe the good news will cheer me up."...
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One morning a boy was going by a London bus to school. He had a cold and was sniffing all the time and so loudly that the people bagan to look at him and shake their heads...
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Two fishermen are out on the lake in a boat they had rented at the dock. After an hour or so, they drift over a deep hole and start catching fish faster than they ever had before in their lives...
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Sadie goes to see her rabbi; she complains about her very bad headaches. She whines, cries, and talks about her poor living conditions for hours...
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Beckie was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her husband Tony.
"Tony, you've been so good to me all these years. I know you never even thought about another woman...
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A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said,
"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple...
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Three men are discussing their previous night's lovemaking. Alberto the Italian says,
"My wife, I rubbed her all over with fine olive oil, then we make wonderful love. She screamed for five minutes."...
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"If I were Rockefeller," sighed the Hebrew teacher, "I'd be richer than Rockefeller."
His friend asked, "What do you mean? How could you be richer?"...
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- You've been watching me for three hours. Why don't you try fishing yourself?...
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A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"...
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