A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
"$50.00 for three questions," replied the lawyer...
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A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window,
"I want to open a damn checking account."
The astonished woman replies,
"I bed your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"...
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There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!"
The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."...
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A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"...
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Helen's eyes were not very good. So she usually wore glasses. But when she was seventeen and began to go out with a young man, she never wore her glasses when she was with him...
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The time is the French Revolution. Yossi lived in a small village and one day, his friend Roberto came to see him after returning from a trip to Paris. Yossi asked Roberto what was happening in Paris as he had heard they were regularly using the Guillotine...
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A Jewish lady calls the newspaper and asks for the obituary section.
The obit guy asks, "What can I do for you?"...
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Four Jewish ladies are playing Bridge.
Betty sighs and says, "Oy..."
Freda nods, sighs, and says, "Oy vey!"...
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An old Jewish man and a young Jewish man are traveling on the train.
The young man asks: "Excuse me, what time is it?"
The old man does not answer...
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Three friends were at the bar talking, and after many rounds of beer, one of them suggests that everyone admits something they have never admitted to anyone...
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